So...

I usually give advice, but I never really find myself in need of one. So here goes :)

I am desperately in "love" with this girl, to the point where I contemplate killing myself over drunkenly revealing to her my true feelings before I planned to (it was gonna be a grand old gesture with a song especially written for her, blah blah blah...).

Thanks to some quick thinking, a couple of white lies and her being as dense as my username, she (and some of my other friends) are under the impression that I do not remember a thing about that night.

However, I feel extremely guilty because I don't want to keep lying to her and it is seriously hurting my heart to do so, but because I've known her for a relatively short time (7 Months) I wanted to wait until next year April to tell her how I felt... (Because she's the kind of girl that would not let you in that close unless you know her REALLY well or if you're REALLY attractive, of which I am neither...).

Another thing I wanted to do was get her in on the song as well and make it like a huge surprise thing for one of my gigs, which would be quite cool if I didn't get drunk enough to ruin everything (I'm gonna be optimistic for once and hope nothing goes awry...).

The question I am trying to ask is... How do I life?

And what I mean by that is... I need help. What should I do? What can I do?

HOW DO I FREAKING LIFE?!!!