So I was looking forward to seeing some of my "friends" whom I have met and formed a strong relationship with over last semester, when some of us convened for a two-day orientation event. I was close to one of them who was in my lab group, Korean girl, that convened once a week off campus. She would be very helpful in helping out adjusting to my new current school, as I had issues with the administration at my previous school, as well as cliquish students who treated me like garbage, so to speak. Let's call her "Person K."
She would give me her old study guides and lecture notes, as I was taking some classes that she's already taken two semesters ago. She is currently in my class/cohort, as she took one semester off after her mother passed away about two years ago. Her father passed away recently last year from cancer as well, so I could highly relate to her situation. I also sent her text messages while she was away for funeral, because I was hoping she was doing fine.
Throughout the semester, Person K would send me text messages telling me, "hey oppah (Korean word for older brother), I just sent you my notes from last year to your email." I felt really warm, very happy and relieved to be at a new school where I felt welcomed, fully supported, and treated like an individual.
Her friend, person F, was a girl I knew from my internship last summer. Hence I knew her before transferring schools. She too would occasionally provide me study notes that her friends from one cohort-class above us, handed down to her. I thought, "wow, thanks xxxxxx, so nice of you."
I also liked the support I received from my clin. group members, which Person K, was a part of.
There was also a computerized test that all students had to take, in additon to a final exam, that was worth 10% of our course grade. Before we could take that computerized exam, we had to prepare at least 10 hours in advance, by doing practice tests. On that particular practice test, we needed to score at least an 80% on the first try, and at least a 90% on the second try. The exam was very difficult, so person K gave me her notes that helped me to do much better on the second attempt.
Turned out on the computerized test date, I did decent (around an 83%-ile range), and both person K and F did average (but both of their actual score was around the 75%-ile range...still good, no?).
They asked me how I performed, so I told them straight up I got around the lower 80% ile range. Person F was hesitant to tell me her score, but Person K flat out said that she only got around 74-76% range. Okay....that's fine with me. However, i was shocked at Person K's performance, as she usually received A's (high A scores!) on her exams for this class. Person F, on the other hand, tended to struggle a little, and get either C+ or B-minus scores. I also didn't mention that she was held back to repeat a semester, as she had a "challenge" with one of her courses that year.
On the last day of our off campus lab, I thanked Person K, by giving her a Christmas present - a box of Godiva chocolate and a Christmas card containing some cash. This gift was from my heart for her kindness and help throughout the semester. I don't like to "free-load" off of people.....so I give back to them if they genuinely help me out.
Two days later, I met Person F on campus and gave her just a chocolate box. She wasn't expecting it. But I thanked her for her help too (but not as much as what Person K did for me).
The week after, we took our final exams. Heck, Person K even WAITED for me outside while I was still taking my final exam. When I finished, I went out, and saw person K waiting for me...and then we discussed question on our final. Person F didn't take her final exam on our test day, as she needed additional days to take the exam. She also has learning disab. accomodation as well. After the final exams were done, we parted our own ways for the Christmas/winter break. No, ....I actually saw Person F at a graduation ceremony that I helped out with. After that, the last time I texted them was about one week after the final exam. Two and a half weeks passed before having to come back to school for a two-day orientation session.
(**turning point**)
Fast forward to two days ago, some of the students who just graduated in December, as well as some students in my class convened for a two-day orientation session. I was excited to see person K and to a lesser extent, person F at the orientation (since I'm not really that close to person F). They arrived early, and person K was seated chatting away with I guess other students who were part of her original class. So I entered the room and said, "Hey -personK- dongseng (Korean word for younger sister...or younger female friend) how are you doing?" She just said "hey" and didn't even bother to look at me and kept chatting with a guy and a female friend. I WAS SHOCKED!!
I sat down next to the guy friend of person K, and luckily, seated next to me was a good female friend from a lab group (Person J), the previous semester. Great that she was there. Since Person K didn't want to talk to me, and she was busy talking to others...... I was talking to the other female friend, asked what she did over the winter break, and if she was ready for orientation.
Came lunch time, and I was hoping to sit with person K, F and thier buddies whom I didn't know. But nope.....they already hogged all of the seats to a table. I ended up sitting at an adjacent empty table.
Look, I understand that person K and F are supposed to have graduated this past December, and they have friends from their original class that have walked and are ready to take a national exam in amonth or so.
The once warm/kind person K who gave me lots notes and study guides last year/semester, and who would call me "oppah" both verbally and via textmessage, didn't even bat an eye at me. WTF?!!!
Person J came along inside the lunch room (luckily), and warmed up her food, and saw me seated alone, so she sat next to me, while person K, F and two of their buddies were seated at the adjacent table. After person J and I were done with lunch, we got up and left the lunch area.
Yesterday morning was 2nd day and last day of orientation. Since Person K told me last semester that she was going to lend me an electronic study guide, as well as lend me her book for a course I will be taking this semester, I decided to ask her for just the book. Her response, "Oh, no, I already sold the book" with a very rude/blunt tone of voice. I then asked her for the electronic study guide on her computer. "Nope, I already erased it, gone" and while she was responding in that mean/cold tone of voice, person F and two other classmates, were snickering and giggling.
I don't know how to express the feelings I had at that time, but it was a combination of sadness, dejection, humiliation, and anger.
Luckily, person J attended the orientation, otherwise I would have been seated all by myself in a room full of people. After asking person K unsuccessfully for her books and electronic notes, I went to sit next to person J. I wasn't seated too far, but not too close to persons K, F and two other classmates. I swear I heard one of them say under their breath, "ooh, new girlfriend" when i went to sit next to person J.
The truth is, person J is ALREADY MARRIED to a guy, and we just happened to be close friends from a previous class we've had together! I mean heck, if person K and F and their friends/buddies from their original class are going to chat and give me the cold shoulders, I am going to obviously chat with person J, so that I don't feel alone!!!!
I don't know what caused Person K and F to do a 180-degree about-face and turn against me!!!
I can't even think about anything I did or said to piss them off.
But here are some possibilities:
I am guessing that I attended a Christmas party where person K was not invited to, and when I asked her if she was going to attend that party, she told me no, because the person who invited me didn't invite her. Well, even if person K was not invited, or got no word of the event, I still attended the event.
At the party (see my other thread), I asked a girl/classmate to introduce me to one of her single female friends, as I was (still am) looking for a relationship.
So I am guessing that person K felt left out? Or she's upset that I am looking for another chick?
My other guess is that both person K and F felt upset that I was performing well on my exams, with the help from the lecture notes and study notes that they've provided me. Person K is a very brilliant girl, so I don't think she had or has any envy against me. Maybe person F, who tended to not perform well on exams, was upset that I was doing academically well with "her" providing me study notes for a class that she's already taken one semester before fall semester.
But like I've said, I gave them both Christmas gifts as token of appreciation, as I hate to free-load off of people. That's not my style of living. It took me time and money to buy the card, write the thank you cards, and buy two boxes of chocolate. Now this ain't no cheap ol' Nestle Crunch or Hershey kisses chocolate from your grocery store. These were Godiva chocolate boxes that cost me around $15.00 per box! I didn't give person F cash, but gave person K a substantial amount of $$ in additon to the choco box.
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This "treat me nice/good one semester, then wicked 180-degree turn around sudden-cold-shoulder the next semester" phenomenon happened in the past at my previous school. very very bad "flash backs" for a person like me to experience this BS all over again.
She would give me her old study guides and lecture notes, as I was taking some classes that she's already taken two semesters ago. She is currently in my class/cohort, as she took one semester off after her mother passed away about two years ago. Her father passed away recently last year from cancer as well, so I could highly relate to her situation. I also sent her text messages while she was away for funeral, because I was hoping she was doing fine.
Throughout the semester, Person K would send me text messages telling me, "hey oppah (Korean word for older brother), I just sent you my notes from last year to your email." I felt really warm, very happy and relieved to be at a new school where I felt welcomed, fully supported, and treated like an individual.
Her friend, person F, was a girl I knew from my internship last summer. Hence I knew her before transferring schools. She too would occasionally provide me study notes that her friends from one cohort-class above us, handed down to her. I thought, "wow, thanks xxxxxx, so nice of you."
I also liked the support I received from my clin. group members, which Person K, was a part of.
There was also a computerized test that all students had to take, in additon to a final exam, that was worth 10% of our course grade. Before we could take that computerized exam, we had to prepare at least 10 hours in advance, by doing practice tests. On that particular practice test, we needed to score at least an 80% on the first try, and at least a 90% on the second try. The exam was very difficult, so person K gave me her notes that helped me to do much better on the second attempt.
Turned out on the computerized test date, I did decent (around an 83%-ile range), and both person K and F did average (but both of their actual score was around the 75%-ile range...still good, no?).
They asked me how I performed, so I told them straight up I got around the lower 80% ile range. Person F was hesitant to tell me her score, but Person K flat out said that she only got around 74-76% range. Okay....that's fine with me. However, i was shocked at Person K's performance, as she usually received A's (high A scores!) on her exams for this class. Person F, on the other hand, tended to struggle a little, and get either C+ or B-minus scores. I also didn't mention that she was held back to repeat a semester, as she had a "challenge" with one of her courses that year.
On the last day of our off campus lab, I thanked Person K, by giving her a Christmas present - a box of Godiva chocolate and a Christmas card containing some cash. This gift was from my heart for her kindness and help throughout the semester. I don't like to "free-load" off of people.....so I give back to them if they genuinely help me out.
Two days later, I met Person F on campus and gave her just a chocolate box. She wasn't expecting it. But I thanked her for her help too (but not as much as what Person K did for me).
The week after, we took our final exams. Heck, Person K even WAITED for me outside while I was still taking my final exam. When I finished, I went out, and saw person K waiting for me...and then we discussed question on our final. Person F didn't take her final exam on our test day, as she needed additional days to take the exam. She also has learning disab. accomodation as well. After the final exams were done, we parted our own ways for the Christmas/winter break. No, ....I actually saw Person F at a graduation ceremony that I helped out with. After that, the last time I texted them was about one week after the final exam. Two and a half weeks passed before having to come back to school for a two-day orientation session.
(**turning point**)
Fast forward to two days ago, some of the students who just graduated in December, as well as some students in my class convened for a two-day orientation session. I was excited to see person K and to a lesser extent, person F at the orientation (since I'm not really that close to person F). They arrived early, and person K was seated chatting away with I guess other students who were part of her original class. So I entered the room and said, "Hey -personK- dongseng (Korean word for younger sister...or younger female friend) how are you doing?" She just said "hey" and didn't even bother to look at me and kept chatting with a guy and a female friend. I WAS SHOCKED!!
I sat down next to the guy friend of person K, and luckily, seated next to me was a good female friend from a lab group (Person J), the previous semester. Great that she was there. Since Person K didn't want to talk to me, and she was busy talking to others...... I was talking to the other female friend, asked what she did over the winter break, and if she was ready for orientation.
Came lunch time, and I was hoping to sit with person K, F and thier buddies whom I didn't know. But nope.....they already hogged all of the seats to a table. I ended up sitting at an adjacent empty table.
Look, I understand that person K and F are supposed to have graduated this past December, and they have friends from their original class that have walked and are ready to take a national exam in amonth or so.
The once warm/kind person K who gave me lots notes and study guides last year/semester, and who would call me "oppah" both verbally and via textmessage, didn't even bat an eye at me. WTF?!!!
Person J came along inside the lunch room (luckily), and warmed up her food, and saw me seated alone, so she sat next to me, while person K, F and two of their buddies were seated at the adjacent table. After person J and I were done with lunch, we got up and left the lunch area.
Yesterday morning was 2nd day and last day of orientation. Since Person K told me last semester that she was going to lend me an electronic study guide, as well as lend me her book for a course I will be taking this semester, I decided to ask her for just the book. Her response, "Oh, no, I already sold the book" with a very rude/blunt tone of voice. I then asked her for the electronic study guide on her computer. "Nope, I already erased it, gone" and while she was responding in that mean/cold tone of voice, person F and two other classmates, were snickering and giggling.
I don't know how to express the feelings I had at that time, but it was a combination of sadness, dejection, humiliation, and anger.
Luckily, person J attended the orientation, otherwise I would have been seated all by myself in a room full of people. After asking person K unsuccessfully for her books and electronic notes, I went to sit next to person J. I wasn't seated too far, but not too close to persons K, F and two other classmates. I swear I heard one of them say under their breath, "ooh, new girlfriend" when i went to sit next to person J.
The truth is, person J is ALREADY MARRIED to a guy, and we just happened to be close friends from a previous class we've had together! I mean heck, if person K and F and their friends/buddies from their original class are going to chat and give me the cold shoulders, I am going to obviously chat with person J, so that I don't feel alone!!!!
I don't know what caused Person K and F to do a 180-degree about-face and turn against me!!!
I can't even think about anything I did or said to piss them off.
But here are some possibilities:
I am guessing that I attended a Christmas party where person K was not invited to, and when I asked her if she was going to attend that party, she told me no, because the person who invited me didn't invite her. Well, even if person K was not invited, or got no word of the event, I still attended the event.
At the party (see my other thread), I asked a girl/classmate to introduce me to one of her single female friends, as I was (still am) looking for a relationship.
So I am guessing that person K felt left out? Or she's upset that I am looking for another chick?
My other guess is that both person K and F felt upset that I was performing well on my exams, with the help from the lecture notes and study notes that they've provided me. Person K is a very brilliant girl, so I don't think she had or has any envy against me. Maybe person F, who tended to not perform well on exams, was upset that I was doing academically well with "her" providing me study notes for a class that she's already taken one semester before fall semester.
But like I've said, I gave them both Christmas gifts as token of appreciation, as I hate to free-load off of people. That's not my style of living. It took me time and money to buy the card, write the thank you cards, and buy two boxes of chocolate. Now this ain't no cheap ol' Nestle Crunch or Hershey kisses chocolate from your grocery store. These were Godiva chocolate boxes that cost me around $15.00 per box! I didn't give person F cash, but gave person K a substantial amount of $$ in additon to the choco box.
------------------------------------------------------
This "treat me nice/good one semester, then wicked 180-degree turn around sudden-cold-shoulder the next semester" phenomenon happened in the past at my previous school. very very bad "flash backs" for a person like me to experience this BS all over again.